Cameron gets clunked by Gordon’s great big fist

At last! A knockout for Gordon Brown today at Prime Minister’s Questions. After months of dancing and dodging Cameron finally had to plant his feet firmly on the ground and face the Prime Minister on the issue of policy alone, and not surprisingly, he came away looking uncomfortable and distinctly lightweight against the far more experienced and confident Brown.

In fairness to Cameron he had an almost impossible juggling act today in trying to appear statesmanlike and offer all-party support while simultaneously holding the government to account. However he has only himself to blame for the endless U-turns and knots he has tied himself up in over the past few weeks, doing Brown’s job for him in marking him out as a politically vacuous lightweight who can’t be trusted on anything.

Lately Cameron and George Osbourne have done so many U-turns over their economic position they’re in danger of smacking themselves in the face with their own arses.

For anyone watching, the biggest problem for Cameron was the obvious delight his every word was greeted with by Labour MPs, who couldn’t believe their eyes and ears to see and hear a Conservative leader condemning city bonuses and demanding the government hold these city bosses to account.

The problem for Cameron was that on a day the government was offering a £500 billion bail-out, city bonuses seemed quite irrelevant and merely allowed Brown to expound on the myriad of things the government are doing to help the economy, all of which came across as more important than the matter of city bonuses.

Constant ridicule was bad enough for Cameron, but Gordon saved the best till last, and delivered the clunking blow to Cameron we’ve been waiting so long for at the end of their debate.

All through the session Cameron had decided to stick with the city bonuses line, probably desperate to be seen on the side of angry families rather than any real desire to see them punished, and unusually for someone as deft on his feet as Cameron, setting himself up perfectly for Gordon’s clunking fist to knock him for six when Brown quoted Cameron on his appearance on the Andrew Marr:

What you won’t hear from me this week is sort of easy, cheap lines kind of just beating up on the market system, bashing the financiers.

The howls of derision and laughter from the Labour backbenchers must have been sweet music to Gordon’s ears after the troubles of the summer, and a dangerous reminder for Cameron at how exposed he has made himself by twisting, turning, manipulating and u-turning over the economy and the banking crisis, the one issue set to dominate the political scene from now until the next general election.

The Tories can’t even copy the Government right.

Huh, turns out the rest of the world aren’t stupid. And when George Osbourne and David Cameron come out of a meeting with the Chancellor Alistair Darling, and suddenly do a U-Turn on their position over the economy and declare that state intervention is the only possible option for the government to take, the rest of the world notices this, sees it for what it is and realises the government must be planning a serious bail-out plan for our ailing banks.

Obviously they realise this means the economy is truly suffering and panic, selling lots of shares, creating more turmoil economically and shredding the value of our biggest banks in the process.

The Tories, after being chastised by Darling for offering a ‘running commentary’ have insisted they were not even partly to blame, as Ned Temko notes, but Jesus how stupid do you have to be to come out of a confidential meeting and take on what the government are secretly planning and claim it as your own plan to try look clever in front of the electorate?

Instead of coming up with their own ideas, are the Tories so clueless that they are just trying to second-guess the Government?

A rather odd scenario seems to be playing itself out at the moment. As more and more people wonder what the hell exactly would the Tories do if they were in government now, or what they would have done differently over the last eleven years, the Tories have made various comments trying to deflect criticism.

They’ve said they don’t back nationalisation but instead believed that Northern Rock should be sold to a private buyer. When it became clear that a) That’s exactly what the government had wanted to do and b) No one wanted to buy Northern Rock, they simply attacked the government for nationalising the bank and hoped that no one would notice their own vacuous policy.

Then, months afterwards the problem rears again, and this time they say that banks should be put into a Bank of England-led administration. The problem with this is that it means guaranteed job losses and the loss of savers deposits over £50k. No one thought it was a good enough idea to pay attention to so they had to come up with something else, as more people were backing the governments approach of nationalisation where necessary to try protect the bank, jobs and money and criticism of them was mounting.

Now, David Cameron is saying that it may be necessary for the government to take a temporary stake in banks, essentially part-nationalise the lot of them, for the stability of the system. It’s a complete volte-face since the events over Northern Rock where they blindly attacked the government over the ‘N’ word, gleefully hoping people would associate this government with the Labour governments of the 1970s and not notice their own position (or lack thereof).

He denied this was a U-turn instead stressing the need for political parties to work together, which isn’t really a proper answer but then what do you expect from such a vacuous man as David Cameron?

Brilliant article by Alan Sugar on David Cameron.

Read it here. I’ve put a few of my favourite lines for you below.

LAST weekend started off well when I read that David Cameron doesn’t like me at all.
I say well, as it’s a relief: It means those slimy people who have been contacting me to see if I want to meet Dave and jump ship to support his party will leave me alone. 

The question was, if he was in power for the same time Gordon has been, would things be better for the ordinary man in the street?

The only answer to that is NO.

Keegan’s a great talker and so is Dave, but they both could not punch their way out of a brown paper bag when faced with sorting this lot out.

The Government has now banned short-selling in banks.

The Government stepped in and took over Northern Rock and Bradford & Bingley.

The punters didn’t lose their savings or mortgages.

David Cameron will have you think this is at the expense of us taxpayers. True to form, he tells half the story.

Read the whole thing, it’s well worth it.

Policy isn’t important, says Cameron, character and judgement is.

So David Cameron now insists that policy isn’t important when it comes to being Prime Minister, and that it’s character and judgement that matters.

With this in mind I’m going to keep a running list of Cameron’s decisions involving his ‘character’ and ‘judgement’, feel free to remind me of any more.

• CHARACTER - He backs raising the inheritance tax threshold to £1million, £2million if you’re a married couple. This will only benefit the richest 3,000 people in the country.
• CHARACTER - Backs a £20 tax break for married couples to encourage family and marriage, ignoring widows and widowers, people who have been abandoned by their partner or those fleeing abusive and potential fatal marriages.
• JUDGEMENT - Was an economic advisor to Normal Lamont when he spent billions propping up the pound in the ERM before it crashed out and interest rates went up to 15% overnight.
• CHARACTER - Claims we too often talk of people being ‘at risk of’ being overweight, addicted to drugs or poverty, when actually it’s their own fault for being fat, a drug addict or poor.
• JUDGEMENT - Aligned himself closely to Ray Lewis from Day One of his Conservative Leadership in a desperate attempt to modernise the party by standing next to a successful black conservative.
• CHARACTER AND JUDGEMENT - His wife had to explain to him why so many people found Section 28 - which banned the so-called ‘promotion’ of homosexuality in schools and banned teachers from teaching that homosexual relationships were a valid alternative to the nuclear family.
• JUDGEMENT - Was against the nationalisation of Northern Rock despite not having a clear policy on it himself for months.
• CHARACTER - To fob off a backbench rebellion in the embryology bill, he went on TV and told a sob story about his disabled son as the reason he was going to vote for stem cell research.
• CHARACTER - Parades his children around in an ITV newscast to try appeal to voters.

A list of errors from Cameron’s speech.

1. ‘(In Afghanistan, while troop numbers have doubled) the number of helicopters has stayed the same’

FALSE. MoD estimates that helicopter numbers have risen by about 60%.

2. Royal Bank of Scotland paid £4 billion in tax. And now it will pay none.

FALSE. RBS paid £2 billion in tax.

3. ‘David Miliband said that “unless government is on your side you end up on your own.” “On your own” - without the government. I thought it was one of the most arrogant things I’ve heard a politician say’

FALSE. Cameron couldn’t have possibly ‘heard’ Miliband say this, because Miliband didn’t say it. At this stage in his speech he departed from his script and said ‘If government is not on your side then it’s a world of sink or swim.’

4.  He quoted the President of the Spelling Society saying that people should be able to spell however they want and used it as an example of education standards being ‘dumbed down’ under Labour.

FALSE. John Well’s, the man in question, explains in his blog (For 2nd October) that Cameron took his quote out of context and he was actually referring specifically to words like ‘thru’ instead of ‘through’ and ‘lite’ instead of light. He was speaking about changing the rules of spelling rather than ignoring them.

5. Claimed a constituent’s wife died of MRSA and read out a ‘bureaucratic’ and ‘formal’ response from Health Minister, Alan Johnson listing ways to complain, using it to claim she died without dignity.

FALSE. Alan Johnson sent a two-page, handwritten reply to David Cameron saying how sorry he was before listing the options the consitituent could take if he wished to complain. Alan Johnson’s office confirmed that the woman did not die of MRSA, nor was it a contributory factor in her death (She sadly died of breast cancer). In fact the constituents letter specifically said the death certificate ruled out MRSA being involved in the death. Furthermore she was moved to a private room after contracting the disease.

6. Claimed teachers can’t put a plaster on a child’s knee without calling a first aid officer.

FALSE. Simply not true. Unless Philip Collins is lying. Andrew Sparrow from the Guardian also felt it was a bit too overboard to be true and Cameron was playing a dangerous game making comments like that.

David Cameron is the ‘man with the plan’

He’s a man
With a plan
Got a counterfeit dollar in his hand
He’s Misstra Know-It-All

Playin’ hard
Talkin’ fast
Makin’ sure that he won’t be the last
He’s Misstra Know-It-All

Makes a deal
With a smile
Knowin’ all the time that his lie’s a mile
He’s Misstra Know-It-All

Must be seen
There’s no doubt
He’s the coolest one with the biggest mouth
He’s Misstra Know-It-All

If you tell him he’s livin’ fast
He will say what do you know
If you had my kind of cash
You’d have more than one place to go oh

Oou… oou… oou oou… oou…

Any place
He will play
His only concern is how much you’ll pay
He’s Misstra Know-It-All

If he shakes
On a bet
He’s the kind of dude that won’t pay his debt
He’s Misstra Know-It-All

When you say that he’s livin wrong
He’ll tell you he knows he’s livin’ right
And you’d be a stronger man
If you took Misstra Know-lt-All’s advice oh oh

oou… oou… oou oou… oou…

He’s the man
With a plan
Got a counterfeit dollar in his hand
He’s Misstra Know-It-All

Take my work
Please beware
Of a man that just don’t give a care no
He’s Misstra Know-It-All (Look out he’s coming)

Dum bum bum ba bum bum,
Dum bum bum ba bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bum Say
He’s Misstra Know-It-All

Can this line
Take his hand
Take your hat off to the man who’s got the plan
He’s Misstra Know-It-All

Every boy take your hand
To the man that’s got the plan
He’s Misstra Know-It-All

Give a hand to the man-aca

Lyrics: Stevie Wonder.

Nod to the Guardian for point it out!

The Tories are clueless on the economy.

You can always tell when Labour have done something right, because generally you don’t hear anything from the Tories. Scrolling through PoliticsHome I found a comment from Chris Grayling on the HBOS takeover, why he was speaking and not George Osbourne I don’t know - perhaps because Osbourne and Cameron are totally clueless.

Whats funny, apart from the grudging acceptance, is that they are still harping on about the US tax cuts, which have allegedly ‘energised’ the economy.

How many banks have the US government had to nationalise again? Is it 3 of the top 5? Or is it two with another one allowed to collapse? I’m losing track to be honest with you. Are house prices still plummeting in the US? Thought so. How’s the US dollar doing? Oh dear. Unemployment…ah.

The only speck of hope for the US economy has been that last quarter it had something like 0.8% growth over the quarter. Why the Tories think that people are so stupid they won’t actually know what’s going on in America in one of the biggest economic crises arguably since World War 2, I don’t know.

The other reason the Tories are missing the mark so much on the economy is that Labour already gave a big tax rebate, £2.7 billion worth. We’ve just received our first £60 rebate this month, with another £10 a month to come for the next six months. Obviously any effects on the economy have yet to be felt, but you’d expect it would only slightly help consumer spending.

In the weeks leading up to the tax rebate, the Tories had been calling for one like the US. Then when we announced one, they turned round and said it was careless borrowing. More than a few people noted this turnaround and have subsequently ignored nearly everything they’ve had to say about the economy, preferring someone who knows his arse from his elbow like Vince Cable of the Lib Dems. Thus when you read reports about the HBOS takeover on BBC news, you mainly see quotes from Alex Salmond of the SNP, and Vince Cable, with nothing from George Osbourne and David Cameron.

We’ve also seen the only action from George Osbourne this week, which is an open letter to Alistair Darling offering ‘cross-party support’ for extending the amount of protection for investors up to £50k, up from the current total of £35k. Osbourne made this suggestion around the time of Northern Rock, the fact that in all the time since thats the best he can do is testament to his uitt

In ordinary times a combination of having your opinions ignored and not respected with you not having anything of note to say on the economy would be political poison. But with the right-wing press so anti-Labour and the Tories so far ahead in the polls, they’re getting away with it.

 

Update: Ha! Vindication from any quarter is welcome. Even someone from the Telegraph has noticed how silent and pathetic the Tories have been while everyone else comes to terms with the biggest banking shocks since the 1920s. I have to admit I was surprised to read that Cameron had been calling on people to ‘defend capitalism’ in case the left wrecks the global economy in reaction to the current crisis. Maybe he has been spending too much time in one of the various ivory towers he has in his multi-million pound property portfolio, but if he hasn’t noticed, the global economy is to many people already wrecked. Idiot.

 

Cameron doesn’t have very green fingers (when washing up)

Reading a review of Cameron on Cameron (Let’s face it, I’m never going to buy the thing), which sounds pretty crap by the way, one thing I did notice was a reference to him having Fairy Liquid in his kitchen.

Surely a man as obsessed with presentation as Cameron would have made the switch to Ecover by now? It’s a small issue, but I’d have thought anyone with a genuine interest in lessening their impact on the environment would have considered things like chemicals in household cleaning products. It’s hardly like no one has heard of Ecover.

However, the public won’t notice what goes on in his kitchen, whereas they will notice a great big wind turbine stuck to his chimney.

Whereas Ecover is only 8p more a litre than Fairy Liquid, a wind turbine would have cost him thousands of pounds. But he can afford it as he is worth over £3 million, and his father-in-law is a Viscount.

The Tories give a giant tax cut…to themselves

One of the most annoying aspects in the run up to the election that wasn’t, was the cack-handed manner that Labour handled the Tory announcement on Inheritance Tax.

George Osbourne announced that a Tory government would raise the threshold on IHT to £1million, so ‘only millionaires pay inheritance tax’. It proved quite popular and Labour panicked, as they were not-so-secretly planning an election.

So at the pre-budget report, the Chancellor Alistair Darling announced a rise in the threshold of IHT to roughly £700k for married couples and civil partners.